Lori's Corner

By: Lori Barrett, Thinkertots Founder

Bayside, N.Y, August 23, 2007 – A successful career. A beautiful child. A happy home. Women across the country are striving every day to find a way to balance their professional and personal lives. Without the support of their employers, women who hope to “Have-It-All” have two choices. They can remove themselves from the workforce (unhappily) and stay home with their children for up to a decade or more. Or, they can adapt themselves (again, unhappily) to their workplace structure, which usually means working more hours than is ideal or taking lesser positions (and passing up promotion opportunities) to gain the flexibility they need.

Most women want to be there for their children more than the typical 9 to 5 grind allows. At the same time, they want to do something they really love, while nurturing their creative spirit. The bottom line is feeling fulfilled as mothers and contributing their talents in a meaningful way, benefiting their community not just their own children.

Turning this dream into reality requires some bold thinking and action. Some women may decide to stay with what they know, not rock the boat, and remain unhappy and unfulfilled. Others may wish for a change in their lives, but simply don't know what to do to make that happen. There is a segment of this huge population of women with similar challenges, however, who are figuring it out and exploring new options and opportunities.

When my first child was born, I faced the same dilemma shared by so many working moms. I knew I wanted and needed to spend meaningful time with my son at this critical early formative stage of his life. At the same time, I was determined to utilize my education and professional background to be more than a stay-at-home mom, to continue to apply my child development background in a way that would make a difference for other families as well.

Fortunately, I was able to address both issues by founding Thinkertots Learning Centers. As the owner and program director of our first location, I was able to continue my professional career, enjoy the flexibility to spend time with my children at home and at work, while providing a needed child development learning activity center for children ranging from infants to toddlers. This “pre pre-K” age group was tremendously underserved in terms of age appropriate classes to stimulate early learning based on sound child development theory and practice.

Many women are similarly fighting back, taking charge and going into business for themselves. In fact, women-owned businesses have become the fastest growing segment in the small business category. Home-based, Internet-focused businesses. Consulting businesses in their fields of professional expertise. Other businesses based on their professional backgrounds, or their personal passions.

Women are also the fastest growing segment among franchise buyers. Our first Thinkertots franchisees became aware of our learning centers because they enrolled their own children in our programs. These moms saw firsthand that the concept was viable based on consumer demand, provided flexible hours, could be located close to home and offered the opportunity to spend quality time with their own children while running a successful business. Best of all, it was fun and beneficial to their communities.

In fact, we target our marketing messages specifically to reach women in this category – not through traditional franchise sales channels – because we found that our best prospects are women who do not fit the profile of typical franchisees.

Everyone Gets a Trophy: How Aiming for Average Damages our Kids

By Lori Barrett, Thinkertots Founder

Bayside, N.Y, April 30, 2007 – As parents, we share a concern for the self-esteem of our children. We want them to feel good about themselves, and to be spared from self-doubt and heartaches. This is manifested in the philosophy of rewarding everyone for simply “showing up.” This societal trend to avoid calling attention to top performers in youth sports or the elimination of academic honors like valedictorian so that others will not suffer hurt feelings actually has the opposite effect when it comes to children's self-esteem.

Children under the age of five are generally unable to comprehend the difference between superior performance and what is simply a good effort. However, soon after they can understand the reasons why top performing players or the team with the best record are singled out for recognition and reward. At that point in their lives, “participation trophies” become meaningless to them anyway.

Children need to be able to experience competition, to strive to be better and to deal with and process their emotions when they are not celebrated as the best at some particular activity or skill. While it is certainly understandable why parents want to shield their children from life's sometimes harsh realities, healthy self-esteem comes from one's experiences in dealing with the real world – and that means accepting the good and the bad.

We want our children to be able to fend for themselves in the grownup world, to understand the rules of the game when it comes to life's every day challenges. If kids perceive that they will be rewarded for their participation no matter what the result, what incentive do they have to push themselves towards ever greater achievement? Doesn't the message we are sending become that you really don't have to try your best? Constant rewards for average results give children a distorted view of themselves, which will not serve them well later in life.

Children can learn as much, if not more, from losing than from winning. For starters, it can help motivate them to improve, and to develop better strategies for competing. It can also lead to a child deciding that baseball, for example, might not be the best fit for their particular talents and to set out to find something new that might be a better match (and something at which they might excel.)

It is also valuable for children to study their peers and the reasons behind their achievements. Parents can discuss with their kids what makes him/her so good at soccer or other activities. What qualities do they possess that lead to such success? It is exceedingly rare for these top performers not to have significant amounts of dedication, hours of practice and training, self-motivation and hard work behind their victories. Isn't that a valuable lesson and a good thing for our children to see and understand?

We are all familiar with stories of youth sports coaches who emphasize a “win at all cost” mentality to the impressionable children in their care. Understandably, many parents are conflicted about how best to help their children prepare for a world that is highly demanding and competitive.

While we want to motivate our kids to work hard while at the same time being confident and comfortable with their individual talents and capabilities, we also fear that they will suffer from too much pressure if we push them too hard. This can be a difficult balancing act for both parents and children alike.

In the final analysis, there will always be winners and losers. And, for many children, the purest joy and satisfaction comes from being actively engaged in the activities that make them happy, no matter what the final outcome may be.

What Kids Can Learn From American Idol

By Lori Barrett, Thinkertots Founder

Bayside, N.Y, February 23, 2007 – I have fond memories of watching television programs with my family as a child. We laughed, shed tears, and cheered for our heroes. Those were cherished times, and valuable because of the things we learned and shared together. Unfortunately, opportunities to bring the whole family together for “TV time” are much harder to find today. With hundreds of channels to choose from, it seems hard to fathom.

That's why I enjoy American Idol. While some may quibble about the sarcasm and mean-spirited comments of the judges, particularly Simon Cowell, it truly is a show enjoyed by people of all ages. In fact, I believe American Idol can be a good teaching tool for parents when it comes to imparting some important life lessons to their children.

Be Adaptable – Singers on American Idol who are standouts in one musical genre often have trouble performing in styles outside of their comfort zone. The demands of the competition, much like life, favor individuals who can adapt to the situation at hand. While you may prefer one specific style, one activity or one skill over others, it pays to be able to do a competent job in many areas without losing focus on that in which you excel.

Be Well-Rounded - Yes, American Idol is a singing competition. However, contestants who are good dancers, display a sense of humor or simply stand out because they speak very well during their interviews, have had an edge because they display a greater range of talents and skills. The reality is the best singer doesn't always win. In life, and on American Idol, it is one's entire presentation that counts.

Be a Team Player – Over the years, many American Idol contestants who seemed to be among the best singers in their auditions failed miserably during the group performances in Hollywood. The ability to work cooperatively with others, even during a competition like American Idol, is a positive attribute that will translate well to other aspects of life.

Be a Gracious Winner … From swaggering end zone dances in football to chest thumping and grandstanding by winners of other events, what ever happened to being humble and respectful to fellow competitors? The reality is that no one wins all of the time, so it pays to behave in a responsible manner during the times when we come out on top.

Take Constructive Criticism – I have never been sure that American Idol contestants really understand when Randy Jackson tells them their performances are “pitchy.” At least when Simon Cowell says they sound like a bad karaoke performer, his message is pretty clear. Comments that provide constructive criticism, whether you are an American Idol contestant or not, can be important and valuable in reaching your full potential. Learning how to acknowledge and make constructive use of another person's perspective demonstrates a willingness to improve. While the unconditional love and praise of parents can instill confidence in their children, sometimes the world is less inclined to be so supportive. No one is perfect, and we all can grow by taking criticism in a positive way.

A Fresh Start for You and Your Toddler

By: Lori Barret, Thinkertots Founder

Bayside, N.Y, February 13, 2007 – I have a friend who looks forward to rainy weekends. While other people anticipate Saturdays filled with activities outside their homes, or Sundays reading the newspaper and enjoying a leisurely brunch, she relishes the opportunity to straighten out closets, or sort out her wardrobe without feeling guilty about missing a few hours of rest and relaxation. For her, days like these are the perfect time to make a fresh start. When it comes to your toddler's developmental needs, you can use a similar approach to find the time to take stock of your child's world and make changes for the better.

As a child development specialist, I can offer several ideas to help you jumpstart the process.

Prioritize – Make a short list of the three things that are most important to tackle at home. Then narrow it down to one and start to work on it. Forget the others. Moms often feel like failures because they have one big list of “things I haven't done yet” in their heads.

Get Organized – If you weren't lucky enough to be born with good organizational skills, try some of these quick fixes. Buy a “Family” organizational wall calendar that has slots for work, social and toddler-related activities on each date. Buy big plastic bins in fun colors. They stack easily and can hide an abundance of “stuff,” both your junk and your child's. If your home looks less cluttered, you feel less cluttered on the inside, which is invaluable for your spirit and for keeping your stress levels in check.

Child's Room - If you are like most Mom's of 2 year olds, you have allowed a lot of excess toys, stuffed animals and other playthings to accumulate in your child's room. You could probably get rid of half of it without him missing any of it (Of course, you never let them see you do this, because they would suddenly become very attached to anything you want to remove!)

Ask for Help – Moms are known for multi

Finding time to make a fresh start will not only improve your child's world, but make yours easier as well. A bit of careful planning can make your child's early days happy ones filled with learning, fun and excitement. Taking an early, active role in your child's educational preparedness and development is an investment in time and love that will pay lifelong benefits.

How Young is Too Young for Children to Learn? Brain Research Highlights Importance of Early Years

By Lori Barrett, Thinkertots Founder

Bayside, N.Y, February 1, 2007 – I am often asked if infants can really benefit from participation in developmental learning programs. Since many adults did not begin their formal education until kindergarten, they are often skeptical of the need for structured activities at such an early age.

The fact is, science has conclusively and quantifiably proven the significance of our earliest years in the development of the brain. A 1997 White House Conference on early childhood development and learning highlighted the wealth of supporting research, underscored the importance of positive early experiences for individuals to reach their fullest potential and gave urgency to a reevaluation of our educational system and how and when we first engage children in the learning process.

At a time when so many mom's and dad's are both working, opportunities to read or simply spend meaningful time together with our children have become increasingly hard to find for many families. Television and later video games, which can potentially provide beneficial stimulation in certain circumstances, often become poor, but very real alternatives for time-stressed parents.

I started Thinkertots learning centers for children from birth to five years when I could not find developmentally appropriate and enriching programs for my own son. As a child development specialist, I was confident that I could provide fun, rewarding and educational activities that would be rewarding for both of us. However, social and physical interaction with other children can be equally important to a child's overall development. And, involvement in teacher led activities and learning represent a significant step in preparing for your child's school years.

The process of socialization and the awareness it brings out in children is an example of learning that many people don't recognize and appreciate. While I know that early exposure to developmental programs will not help a toddler learn quantum physics (at least not right away!), it will positively influence their educational development. Learning how to share, to take direction, to focus on a single task or even just to “play nicely” with other children are important steps in the process. Today, many teachers use small group learning models and “pick-a-partner” assignments as part of their curriculum. Getting your child used to these situations at an early age can help minimize potential difficulties with the transition from their comforting and safe home environment to the classroom.

For those people who still question the need for programs before kindergarten, a study conducted by the Carnegie Corporation in the mid 1990's documented that kindergarten teachers reported one in three students was not equipped with the fundamental skills necessary for learning. A 1996 report by Sharon Begley in Newsweek found that “children whose neural circuits are not stimulated before kindergarten are never going to be what they could have been.”

The bottom line is that all children across the United States should be ready to learn when they enter the classroom. And all of us as taxpayers pay the price when they are not. The cost of remedial educational programs is staggering. And, with many children handicapped by factors ranging from poverty and substandard childcare to parents who are incapable of providing sufficient attention and support, the problem continues to grow.

There are many signs, both positive and negative, that can help attentive parents know when its time for their children to be involved in educational programs.

For example, your infant may be ready for a class if he is responding to music, is interested in faces, can grasp objects or simply enjoys being out of the house. Your toddler may be ready for a class if he can stay focused and involved in one specific activity for five or more minutes, shows interest in other children, enjoys toys he can manipulate or likes to be “entertained.” Your preschooler may be ready for a class if she enjoys books and stories, can understand simple directions, is curious about her world or asks about “going to school.”

Conversely, if you have a particular concern about your child, such as shyness, refusal to share, short attention span or an inability to listen, then RUN, don't walk to enroll him in a class. These tendencies do not get better on their own, and are much easier to address before formal schooling begins.

Here are some helpful tips for parents eager to positively influence the educational development of their toddlers:

READ, READ, READ - Few activities reap the rewards that reading to your child will. Reading helps develop attention span, creative thinking and language while giving you both a close time for bonding. It doesn't matter if she likes to hear the story or if she just wants to actively go back and forth between pages. Reading ability is so closely aligned with success in school that starting early really makes sense.

Parents often tell me that their child won't sit still for a book. Do it for as long as they can stand, even if this is just a few minutes. Their ability to focus should gradually increase over time. Leave picture books in a bin that the child can access himself and you will see him open them up. It is also good for children to see their parents reading whether it is magazines, newspapers or novels. If you have an older child, let the older one read to the younger one. This should make them both feel good.

MUSIC - Studies show that exposure to different types of music has a positive effect on brain growth and is particularly linked to math ability later on. Play all types of music for her, not just “kids music.” This helps make children open to enjoying a variety of musical styles as they grow older. Music is soothing to most people, including children, so it is also helpful in developing methods for self-soothing. Encourage them to move to the music. Play instruments (both real and homemade). At Thinkertots, we use the CD's produced by Music For Little People. They produce all kinds of great music for children: jazz, calypso, folk, classical, blues even the Beatles and Elvis! You may discover some new musical tastes for yourself too!

COMPUTER PROGRAMS - There are some outstanding educational software programs for toddlers like Reader Rabbit Toddler . These are fun for her and do a great job of teaching basic concepts. The sooner your child is comfortable and adept at using the computer the better. Some spatial/sorting/counting concepts are so easy to learn with good educational software. Certain children show a better attention span when sitting at a computer so this could be a good tool for them. It is good to get them comfortable with sitting in front of computer and moving the mouse. Computer skills are such an integral part of society now that a child must have them!

A bit of careful planning can make your child's early days happy ones filled with learning, fun and excitement. Taking an early, active role in your child's educational preparedness and development is an investment in time and love that will pay lifelong benefits.

Start the New Year right with Resolutions for You and Your Child

By Lori Barrett – Founder, Thinkertots

Many families find that in November and December, established rules and routines are overlooked as parents focus on holiday preparations and celebrations. January is a perfect time to get back on track, and to address some behaviors that we want to change in our children. Some common issues parents deal with for the under five crowd include weaning children off of their bottles and binkies, or waking during the night and sleeping in their parents' beds. For school age kids, it could be watching too much TV, staying up too late or slacking on homework.

Many parents dread dealing with these realities, even though they recognize the need for change and understand the benefits of correcting certain behaviors. The fact is the effort is not as daunting as you may think, and can go a long way towards restoring your sanity and helping your child's development. The first step is devising a good plan.

Whatever the behavior you are trying to address, following these simple steps will work if you are consistent:

As a child development specialist and the founder of Thinkertots learning centers for kids from birth to five years, I have learned that most attempts to change children's behavior fail for two reasons. First, the parents are not united. Children are very smart. They will figure out who is the weak parent and will go after him or her with a vengeance.

Second, parents are not consistent. If you give in after one hour of whining you have just succeeded in teaching your child that they must whine for at least one hour to get their way.

Helpful Hints to Jumpstart Your Toddler's Education

By Lori Barrett, Thinkertots Founder

Bayside, N.Y, October 25, 2006 – Attention parents of fast-growing and fast-learning toddlers. Implementing a structured home learning environment for children ages one to five can be beneficial in preparing them for the jump to pre-school or kindergarten, and helping you better manage your days together.

As a child development specialist and co-founder of Thinkertots, a Bayside, New York learning center (with a franchise location in New Hyde Park, NY) that provides developmentally enriching programs for children from birth to five years, I recommend ten easy ways to prepare your toddler to be a star student. I believe the saying you are never too old to learn should also say you are never too young. There is a high correlation between an individual's future success and the cognitive stimulation and personality development skills that are formed early in life.

Here are some helpful tips for parents eager to positively influence the educational development of their toddlers:

ROUTINE - Toddlers love to know what to expect. Give them a loosely structured daily routine that includes both free play and learning activities you do together.

READ, READ, READ - Few activities reap the rewards that reading to your child will. Reading helps develop attention span, creative thinking and language while giving you both a close time for bonding. It doesn't matter if she likes to hear the story or if she just wants to actively go back and forth between pages.

MUSIC - Studies show that exposure to different types of music has a positive effect on brain growth and is particularly linked to math ability later on. Play all types of music for her, not just “kids music.” This helps make children open to enjoying a variety of musical styles as they grow older.

LIBRARY - Make a visit to the library a part of her weekly routine. You want the library to be a fun part of her world. This will contribute to a love of reading and books.

PARENT-CHILD CLASS - Enroll in an educational parent-child class. As great a parent as you are, you cannot duplicate the learning opportunities children get in a structured group setting with an experienced teacher. You will also enjoy seeing your child blossom socially and learn other ways to continue the learning at home. Remember that 75% of your child's brain develops before age two, so now is a great time to invest in her education.

Thinkertots activities are totally parent-child oriented and focus on social and cognitive development. They range from cognitive games like story time, building and puzzles to ArtSmart activities like mural-making and stencils to physical activities like balance beams, tunnels and parachute games and MusicSmart activities like dancing, musical instrument play and musical story time.

STIMULATING TRIPS - At least once a season, take your child on an interesting, educational trip like the zoo, aquarium, farm or museum. Such visits are mentally invigorating and will reinforce learning in other areas.

COMPUTER PROGRAMS - There are some outstanding educational software programs for toddlers like Reader Rabbit Toddler . These are fun for her and do a great job of teaching basic concepts. The sooner your child is comfortable and adept at using the computer the better.

EDUCATIONAL TV - TV is not all bad! A few carefully selected programs a week which focus on learning like Dora the Explorer or Blue's Clue's can be a great supplement while providing Mom or Dad with a few minutes of down time.

FOREIGN LANGUAGE - If you know another language, now is the time to teach it to your child. Unlike adults, children can easily learn another language without becoming confused. Knowing more than one language is a great asset for a child. Studies also show that learning a second language before age five increases the neural pathways, which benefits all learning.

HELPING - It is important for children to learn about helping others and being a part of a team. Give your toddler a simple job like placing empty cans in the recycle bin. Even though this may seem like more trouble than it is worth, it will go a long way to teaching your child responsibility.

A bit of careful planning can make your toddler's daily life one filled with learning, fun and excitement. Taking an early, active role in your child's educational preparedness and development is an investment in time and love that will pay lifelong benefits.